RYSLIG IC INBOX

[toothaches]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, HUTCH77 FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** hutch77 has joined 018.07.154.55 <hutch77> hello? hello???

Comments

[toothaches]

NO!

_{[But it came out as NOOH-HOH-HOH-HOH. Because he's a fucking horse now and it's a lot. Maurice abandons his quest for underwater breathing in favor of plunging awkwardly toward the shore. Toward Lup. With his big ass hooves.]}

THIS IS STUPID AND I HATE IT!

_{[He'd shape-shifted before back home and it had never just HAPPENED like this.]}

[restinglichface]

[Bring it!! Lup is laughing way too much - full body shaking now - to even care there is a goddamn horse stumbling right her way. She even slaps a hand against her brightly-colored hip, shrieking out in laughter.]

This - This is the best thing I've ever seen!! A million times better than Bar goin' full slime that one time! Fuck, I'm gonna friggin' vom!

[toothaches]

_{[Lup had best get her vom on because Maurice has arrived and he's bad at how horse legs bend.]}

Shut up! Shut up! Shut--WOAH!!!

_{[He tries to step over her and just full on trips. He's a lot.]}

[restinglichface]

[He's a lot but also THIS is a lot.

Lup's still cackling when Maurice comes racing at her, furious and offended and dripping from the lake, but then he's stumbling and falling all over her, a tangle of long horse legs and her winding, thicc snake body, an absolute mess of a monster.

She tries to reach for his face, to push him off of her, but her hand pushes at the man's chest instead.]

What the - Get your horse butt offa me!

[toothaches]

_{[The horse's broad chest instantly adheres to Lup's hand.]}

I'm trying! My eyes are on the sides of my head I can't tell what way's up!

_{[Maurice twisted his oddly shaped body and tried to roll off of Lup but ended up just rolling her up with him like the world's worst katamari.]}

Ah shit! Shit! I'm sorry!

_{[He tries to stand but it's all bambi on ice except the ice is mud.]}

[restinglichface]

[hey op, do you take constructive criticism??????]

What the fuck - !

[It doesn't help that her long, coiling body just makes for the perfect rolling into a ball shape, katamari-ing into Maurice with way more ease than she'd like to ever actually admit.]

This is harassment, buddy!

[toothaches]

<sub>[Maurice attempts to explain himself but all that comes out is a WHEEERRRHERRRHERRRHERRHERRR of dismay. He's not a harasser! He's a good boy! He's doing his best! HE JUST WANTED TO GO SWIMMING]

[Swimming! The water! That could wash off the sticky! The horse lurches to his hooves, forelegs splayed, and starts high-stepping back toward the shallows.]</sub>

I'm fixin' it!

[restinglichface]

[This is what swimming gets you, Maurice! Sent right straight to hell!

There's Lup, flailing around while she's completely stuck to a whole ass entire horse, trying so desperately to summon the strength to just remove herself from this situation, but then she sees the metaphorical lightbulb click over Maurice's head. And it clicks in hers just as quick. He wouldn't...]

Don't you - [Too late.] NO! Don't you dare drown me in the lake, I swear to Pan, I'm gonna swallow your horse ass whole if you fuckin' kill me -

[toothaches]

If you don't wanna drown, close your BIG MOUTH!

<sub>[His ears are blazing hot with embarrassment an frustration and a little honest to goodness anger but once the shallows rise up to his sides he starts to turn in place to find better footing.]

[Ahd then he shakes all over like a huge sticky dog.]</sub>

OFF! OFF! OFF! OFF!

[restinglichface]

EXCUSE YOU-

[But then her head is absolutely submerged in the shallows and whatever else she has to say is nothing but a stream of angry bubbles spewing from her mouth.

Until Maurice shakes like a dog after a bath and the naga just unceremoniously flops to the ground beneath him, all tangled up in a heap of glistening snake scales, her thick hair a soaking curtain around her face. She pushes herself up on her hands and just flips the hair from her face, where her eyes are full on angry slits.]

You.

[toothaches]

<sub>[When the Naga pulls free, Maurice is overcome with relief. Yes. Good. As much as he liked (???) Lup, he didn't want to live the rest of his life with her stuck to his side and neck.]

As Lup surfaces, Maurice flashes her a triumphant little grin.]</sub>

We did it!

_{[And then he sees her face.]}

I'm gonna go...

[restinglichface]

[Thaaaaat's probably for the best, Maurice. Go on and gallop on out of here.]